Activity 3

The draft was written well, however, I did lose focus somewhere in the middle. The writer could have wrote the essay in a more interesting way.

To the parents of the kids as well as the school board. The overall purpose was suited just right, to help anyone in need of a helping hand. The words written enlighten the readers to the point, therefore, the tone is informative.

The explicit essay's thesis is clearly that schools should extend their daily hours. The person who wrote it must have intended on persuading the reader.

Children must not be left alone at home, and extracurricular activities are useful to their education.

Emphatic, it helps readers understand the thesis.

A contrasting development was entwined with a descriptive style. The thesis was obvious with all the details of how it might be without the longer day.

Definitely in the first paragraph, I was not impressed with the term "latchkey". Yes it does indeed make sense but I felt as if the paper would be better without it.

The paragraphs convey the thesis accurately, all of them were descriptive and relevant.

All of the sentences are in there for a reason, to convince people into thinking longer school days are a brilliant idea. The thesis was visible throughout the piece.

All the ideas are presented emphatically, this contrasts the main point.

If the topic interests a reader, then all of the little details may seem important. I for one did not find the essay to be intriguing, therefore, I would prefer a lot more creativity as well as sentence variety throughout the paragraphs. To shorten it would also make it more enjoyable, readers would also have a sharper sense on what they read.

The form was structured pleasantly, the writer faded to each point smoothly.

Near the middle, most of the paragraphs were dull but straightforward.

The introduction started off asking for attention when it painted the image of a good girl being home alone trying to figure out what to do.

It should have said that the seven year old now has something to do, to enhance the effect of the solution.